I Don't Care About Dead Cubs Fans

Lets get the obvious out of the way. I’m bitter. I’m jealous. I’m hateful. The Mets are gonna let Cespedes walk and cant keep their pitchers healthy and their window is probably closed and the Cubs just broke a 100 year curse and are set up for more. There’s a few classic loser franchises out there that always stuck together and the Mets are still one of them and the Cubs are now not. Its like when you and your friends are nerds in school and then one of them gets popular somehow and fucks the prom queen and ditches his old loser friends. So yes. Thats me. Stephen Glansberg stuck at the table by himself.

But man oh man do I not give a fucccccck about all these dead Cubs fans. I know baseball transcends sports and that this win was more than just a championship and blah blah blah but we had Cubs fans last night listening to the game in the middle of a cemetery for their dead dads!

This dude’s dad died almost 40 years ago! Its not like they were watching together in 2015 and thought that it was their year. Hes been dead since 1980! Your dad wouldnt want you sitting alone in a goddam cemetery watching the first Cubs World Series since 1908. He didnt suffer through a lifetime of baseball hoping one day to watch or listen to a game 7 surrounded by fucking dead people. You shouldnt either.

We got people signing the wall like its a Vietnam Memorial

Again I understand it. I know this is a really important cultural moment. But I just dont care about all the dead people from like a billion years ago. I dont care about all the World Series titles the Yankees won a hundred years ago and I dont care about all the titles the Cubs lost a hundred years ago. I dont care about my dead grandpa who was a big Mets fan. Its been 30 years and when it goes 50 and I die without a title, just throw me out with the trash. When the Mets inevitably win the World Series without me, dont watch the goddam game next to my grave.

But thats just me.